Forget
by SnowRaven
Summary: It's been four years since Hitomi returned to Earth and yet Van still loves her, although she has obviously moved on with her life. Merlefrustrated by his inability to see what is right in front of him desperately steals Hitomi's pendant. Will he forge
1. Default Chapter

Standard Disclaimer: No own! NO OWN!!! Escaflowne, its characters, and its plot are all owned by some rather large company whose name I can't recall. I don't even wish I owned it. I would have botched the series terribly.

Forget

By Snow Raven

It had been four years now. 

Four years since the Great War had ended.

Four years since he had returned to Fanel.

Four years since his heart had died.  


The memories unfolded in his mind. It was evening, a mere three hours after moonrise. They were sitting in the meadow, quietly enjoying the peace, reveling in the fact that it was finally _over. _No more war. No more blood. No more death. Peace. 

She was standing a few feet away, hands clasped around her pendant and face tilted towards the sky, almost as if she were praying to the full moon. The evening breeze rippled over the tall meadow grass, fanning out her short, gold hair until it formed a halo around her face. The moonlight, her wistful expression, almost made her look like an angel. His breath caught in his throat. She was so perfect....so beautiful.... 

A blinding pillar of light descending out of the sky...

Her voice....calling his name in panic...

His hand was closing around her slender fingers, the pendant pressing into his palm.....

No...no...she slipped.....he let go... 

She was rising away from him, returning to her strange planet.....the Mystic Moon...

And she was gone, taking his heart with her. He was alone in the silent meadow, her pendant still clasped in his hand, the only remainder of the girl he had loved.

Van put a hand to his neck, fumbling with the tiny clasp. It came loose. He wound the thin, gold chain around his work-worn fingers, watching as the violet pendant swung hypnotically in front of his eyes. 

He was very busy these days. With Hitomi gone, he had no choice but to return to his broken kingdom and to gather his scattered peoples. Together, they had started the long, grueling process of recovery. Roads had been cleared. Fields had been sown. Buildings had been painstakingly restored. Van had worked right alongside with his people- the happy, cheerful ruler. The long hours of manual labor gave way to endless lines of advisors and diplomats, carrying tidings of his people and the kingdoms beyond his border. By the end of the day, he was exhausted. 

That was good. He didn't have time to think. 

He had grown from young, naive boy into a man, from hotheaded warrior prince into a king. So much had changed- but not just for him. For Hitomi too. 

Van stilled the swinging pendant. It hung suspended before his eyes, turning slowly on its chain. Van focused on it, feeling his consciousness being drawn away from him and into the teardrop-shaped stone. Images formed in his mind, dreams of another place, another world. 

It was Hitomi. She was older now- almost nineteen. Her body was long and lean- almost gangly- yet she moved with an athletic grace. Her wheat-colored hair had grown out of its previous, boyish cut but was still short, hanging in gentle wisps around her face. Despite these changes, her eyes still held the same sparkle and she still had that same happy, shy air. Different body, same Hitomi. 

It was late afternoon in her world. She was dressed in a cream-colored blouse and gray, knee-length skirt. An ugly, brown building- something Hitomi called a 'college'- loomed in the background. Hitomi made a sound of frustration as she struggled to balance an armful of books, papers, and binders. 

A young man appeared in the faint dream-image. Van caught his breath. He was tall and lean, with chin-length blonde hair that he pushed impatiently behind his ears. He had a open, friendly face- the kind of person that was immediately popular with anyone around him. The thing that struck Van the most however was that this young man looked _exactly _like a certain knight of Asturia. Minus the hair of course. 

Amano- apparently the young man's name- smiled at Hitomi and offered to take her books. With a flustered smile she handed him half of her burden, giggling and making some joke that Van didn't understand. They chatted merrily and began to walk off. Neither noticed the young, red-haired woman standing in the shadow of a building, her blue eyes filling with hurt and tears. Yukari. 

Every day she watched the man she loved fall more deeply for her best friend. Her heart's desire was right in front of her, yet she couldn't have him. 

"That makes two of us," Van whispered. 

Hitomi had cried, of course, after she returned to earth. She had prayed to return to Gaea. She had begged heaven to bring her Van to Earth- but all in vain. Her mother and her best friend had each tried to comfort her in their own way, but Hitomi had continued to cry...until Amano came. Amano gave her the gentle tenderness she craved and soon he began to fill the hole in her life. 

He absently brushed a strand of dark hair away from his face. He hadn't expected nor wanted Hitomi to be unhappy forever. But now it seemed like she didn't even remember Gaea, like she didn't even care. 

_Don't you remember what we had....?_

_Does it matter to you anymore....?_

Hitomi and Amano were quiet now. They were staring intently into each others' eyes....leaning closer... Hitomi's eyes were fluttering closed... She was tilting her head, her lips opening slightly...

Van's hand closed over the pendant as the dream-image vanished. He stared into the courtyard below, unmindful of the cool breeze ruffling his hair or the sound of someone- probably a servant- stirring just outside his door. His right hand- a clenched fist- trembled against the window sill. He spoke, his voice filled with longing.. 

"Hitomi...." 

* * * * * *

"Hitomi....." 

Far away on another planet, a young woman lifted her head and turned away from the man standing in front of her- a man who was clearly waiting for the kiss that would never be. That voice....had been so familiar... It called out of the shadows of her past, a voice that had belonged to someone near and dear to her. 

"Van...?"

* * * * * * 

Merle pressed her body against the doorframe, waiting until all was quiet in the royal chambers. With the silent agility of a thief, she palmed open the door and made her way across the darkened room. 

Van was asleep by window. He must have been exhausted after the council meetings today. Yet again, he had neglected to undress properly. He was still garbed in the clothes he wore to court, a white shirt- top three buttons undone- and well-tailored, dark blue slacks. At least he had removed his boots and coat, which were thrown haphazardly onto the bed. 

The cat-girl brushed a strand of chocolate-colored hair away from his eyes, smiling fondly. Sleep and moonlight had smoothed his features into the youthful, boyish face of the childhood companion she remembered. She frowned, tracing his jaw line with a feather-light touch. Almost. This face was lined with worry and exhaustion and these lips rarely ever curved into a genuine smile. The prince was dead. Here lay the king. 

Long fingers trailed down his neck and muscular shoulder, her face soft as she stared down at the sleeping man. She longed, craved, for one morning- just one- where she could wake up with this face on the pillow beside her, just one hour where she could call him hers. He was so beautiful.... 

Merle found herself leaning over the slumbering king, her rough, sandpaper-like tongue sliding gently over his cheek. A kiss. Just one stolen moment of affection. She closed her eyes, savoring the strong, earthy taste of his skin. Suddenly her blue eyes snapped open. Salt.... Her tongue experimentally flicked out again. Salt. Tears. 

She abruptly sat up, gently moving his head to one side. Yes, she had missed it before in the darkness. Faint lines of silver streaked down his face, the remnant of hot and bitter tears. She sought out his right hand, prying open the clenched fingers. In the middle of his palm a teardrop-shaped, purple stone lay nestled in a puddle of gold links. 

_Curse you Hitomi....._

It dangled from her fingers as she held it up to the moonlight. A bitter expression crossed her face. Memories- like so many birds- rose in the back of her mind, fluttering, whispering. 

Flashback

_"Augh....not again!" Merle grumbled as yet another button popped off her dress and skittered across the rooftop. She was really getting too old to be climbing around like this but she had wanted to drop into Van's room unexpected, and the only way to do that was by entering through the window. She craned her neck, trying to see the royal bedchamber. She saw a dark shape moving away from the window. Good, Van was in his room. Grinning, she inched forward, her claws making soft, clicking sounds on the heavy, clay tiles. _

_She was perched on the edge of the roof, contemplating how to get through the window without Van hearing her when she heard it- the soft, almost inaudible sound of someone crying. Van? Crying? Never. Even when Fanel had been burned to the ground, she had never seen Van cry. He had always refused to show weakness. _

_Throwing caution to the wind, Merle dropped through the window and landed in a crouch on the wooden floor. Her eyes adjusted to the dark room. A white shape was crumpled on the bed, their shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Merle made her way to the rough-hewn, four poster bed. Her voice was quiet, timid. _

_"Van?"_

_The dark head lifted and Merle found herself staring at a pair of reddened, brown eyes. The horrible, heartbreaking anguish in them tore at her soul. She longed to gather him in her arms and hug that pain away but kept her arms at her side. _

_"Merle?" he spoke in a voice roughened with tears. He sat up. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm sorry...I wanted to surprise you...Van, what's wrong?" He was silent. "Van! Tell me! You're scaring me!"_

_"She rejected me."_

_"What? Van, what are you talking about?"_

_"She rejected me," he repeated in a flat voice. He was staring blankly at his hand. That's when Merle saw it. The pendant. _

_"Hitomi...." she breathed. _

_"Yes," Van kept talking, as if he were speaking to himself. "I called her. I used the pendant to call her back to Gaea. But she was scared. She didn't want to come back. She rejected me." _

"_Van...maybe she was scared to leave her family. She just got back you know." Merle couldn't believe she was defending that girl, but anything to get that blank, dejected expression off his face. _

_"Perhaps..." He came to her then. He put his head on her shoulder and heaved great, hollow sobs. Merle held him for an hour, whispering condolences in his ear and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, like a child.... _

End Flashback

That incident had been repeated three times. Each year he called Hitomi and each time she refused. Merle looked at the pendant. Everyone in the castle knew that Van used the pendant to watch Hitomi. He never did it when he had duties of course, but at night, after the council meetings were over.... Servants were careful to stay away from the royal bed chamber and even the advisors checked their tongues until they were sure he had finished with his dream-seeing. Merle glared fiercely at the blue and green orb that hung on the western horizon, thinking somehow that Hitomi could hear her. 

"I hate you," Merle whispered. "I would give anything to have him-- my life, my family, my soul, anything. You were given the chance- four times- to come back to him and yet you rejected it. If you knew you were going to leave, why did you let him fall in love with you?" Her voice rose. "Why did you have to hurt him like this, huh? Why couldn't you have left him alone?!" 

"Why couldn't you have left him to me...?" she trailed off sadly. 

Merle glanced down at Van, her eyes bitter and hard. He was wasting his life and his love on a woman that literally lived worlds away. If only he could see what was right in front of him. If only he could forget.... 

Forget. 

What if... She resolutely put the pendant down. No. Van would be furious with her if he found out. But.... if he didn't watch Hitomi every day, perhaps eventually he would forget her. Perhaps he would direct his love at someone else. Perhaps.... No! She couldn't. It wasn't right. Anyway, he would still love Hitomi, pendant or no pendant. 

Or maybe not. If she didn't take it, she would never know would she? She would never know if he could have loved her. But if he found out... A set of familiar, shuffling footsteps in the hall made her decision.

"Lord Van?"

"Wha...?" Van's sleepy voice floated out into the night. "Sagus? Augh....Sagus, what could you possibly need at this hour?"

"I'm sorry for waking you Majesty, but we have a problem that you may want to take care of personally....."

Merle- perched silently on the edge of the roof- listened as Van followed his most trusted advisor out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. She looked at the pendant still clenched in her hand. Could she really do this..?

For a few, precious seconds, she wavered. The moment of indecision passed however, and she jammed the piece of jewelry deep into the recesses of her dress pocket, scampering over the rooftop and disappearing into the night.

~ *~ *~ *~ *~ * ~

Author's Notes: Excuse me if this is too mushy, I'll try to make it a little less gooey in the future. O.o I really don't know where this came from. It just sort of dropped out of the sky and landed on my head like a little Chibi-usa, pulling out a gun and ordering me nicely to write it. I usually avoid pure romance like I would a rabid dog, but Van-sama looked so cute when he begged to be put back with his Hitomi-chan that I couldn't resist. Please, if you are reading this and think it's the stupidest piece of writing you've ever read in your life, keep reading. I promise that it will get better. And if it doesn't...you're welcome to flame me like a marshmallow. (And make a s'more! ^^ Those are nummy!) 

This is dedicated to Key-chan and Hideko, for bringing the Escaflowne tapes to my house so that we can stay up 'til insane hours of the morning watching them and to Rei, for making me an Esca fan in spite of myself. (I had NO intention of liking this anime I hope you know. My obsession is ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Of course, I unleashed one of the most rabid Weiss fans in existence when I introduced you to Weiss, so I guess we're even.) 

Also, I have not seen the end of Escaflowne so I made up my own. I haven't put Amano and Yukari together- _yet- _and from the other fics I've been reading, I'm assuming that Van is the one with the pendant at the end of the series. If he isn't...well, he is now! ^^

PLEASE REVIEW!!! *tries to look cute and puppy-eyed. Fails, and get Quatre to help me beg* 


	2. Forget

Not- So- Standard disclaimer: OK, if I put a disclaimer on the first chapter do I have to put one on the rest of them? O.o I'm not sure, but I don't want to risk it. Umm...I don't own Escaflowne or anything associated with it. And please read the author's notes. Believe it or not, I spend a lot of time on those. *grin* 

Forget

By Snow Raven

Umi laid the last slice of bread atop the tower of cheese, tomato, and turkey, cheerfully patting the top of each finished sandwich. Hitomi would be home soon and would want a snack before her daily study session at Yukari's house. She smiled at the mental image of her daughter- a literal whirlwind of books, papers, and skirts that would pause just long enough to give her mother a kiss before rushing out the door. Hitomi had always been a busy girl and it hadn't changed when she got to college. 

Outside, a car door slammed. Ahh... there was Hitomi now. A key jiggled in the lock, followed by shuffling sounds and footsteps as Hitomi shucked off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen. Umi turned, greeting her daughter with a smile.

"Kobanwa Hitomi! Did you have a good day?"

"Hai," the girl answered in an absent tone, setting her books on the counter.

Hitomi sat down at the kitchen table and began to eat, forgetting to thank her mother for the food. Umi watched her daughter with a keen eye. Hitomi- usually so happy and vibrant- seemed vague and distracted. Normally she chatted happily during her snack, trying to cram the events of the day into a mere hour. Today however, she gazed out of the window at something only she could see, eating with large, mechanical bites. Umi tried vainly to get some small semblance of conversation out of her. 

"You were later than usual today. Did anything happen?"

"Not really, " Hitomi didn't even glance at her mother, continuing to stare outside. "I stopped to talk to Amano and kind of forgot about the time." 

"I see. And he took you home I assume." No answer. Umi changed tack, using a light, teasing voice. "Amano seems like a nice young man. Handsome, smart, talented, with a good future ahead of him. Everything you could want in a husband, ne?"

Hitomi looked at her then, her mouth turning up with laughter. A smile....but not quite a Hitomi smile. It lacked the same brightness. "Oh mother....are you matchmaking again?"

"No, just making a suggestion," Umi laughed. Relieved to have gotten a response, she continued. "Will you be home for dinner tonight? Or will you be eating at Yukari's again?"

"I'll be eating at Yukari's," Hitomi answered regretfully. "We'll be up late studying for Sensei Watanabe's exam. It's too bad. I miss your cooking. I don't get to eat it often enough anymore."

Umi paused the conversation as the doorbell rang. She scurried to the front of the house, spending a good fifteen minutes convincing a salesman that no, she _didn't _need a new hairbrush. By the time she had returned to the kitchen, Hitomi had finished her sandwich and was resting her head in her hands, watching as the clouds crept across the blue sky. There was a disturbed expression on her face. Her eyes held a strange mixture of emotions- sadness, frustration, despair. 

"Hitomi..?" she asked quietly, "What's wrong?"

Something in those green eyes flickered. "I heard Van today." 

The world stopped.

No. 

"Oh-hhh?" 

"Amano and I were talking and--I don't know--somehow we got on the subject of marriage, and we were going to kiss...." Hitomi touched her lips in remembrance. "Then I heard Van's voice. He didn't say much; he only called my name. But he sounded so sad and lost..." 

Umi suddenly founded those emerald orbs looking directly at her, boring into her soul. 

"I want to see him again mother. I want to see Van."

No...no...no.. The chair scraped across the floor as Umi stood abruptly, breathing in shallow gasps. The kitchen walls were closing in on her...she was drowning...drowning... 

"Mother?" Hitomi asked, her voice tinged with panic. "Is everything OK?"

"Everything's fine." Umi said distantly, "I'll be upstairs. Tell me before you leave for Yukari's." 

She pushed past her daughter, dimly making her way up the stairs and into her bedroom. She was opening the bedroom drawer, moving aside the piles of socks and underwear, her hand closing on a familiar, rectangular object. Umi sat on the bed and slowly removed the worn, cardboard cover of the box. She emptied its contents onto the pale green comforter. The familiar faces stared back at her: the Emperor, the Lovers, the Magician. 

Her tarot cards. 

The day that Hitomi had stumbled back into the house- pale, tired, and weeping- Umi had laid the cards in the bottom of the drawer and vowed never to open them again. She didn't need to be reminded of the endless nights she had spent in the living room, begging the tarot cards to tell her that her daughter was safe and happy. The dreams- a gift from her mother, a woman of the second-sight- had told her little. In fact, they only served to heighten her anxiety. The dreams had only shown her tiny snatches of Hitomi's life on Gaea-- mostly bloody, relentless battles between giant machines and the silent war between the two young men who loved her daughter. 

Umi picked up one card. The Emperor. For some reason the dark-haired, bearded man on the card reminded her of the young king of Fanel- Van. 

For nearly five months after returning from Gaea, Hitomi had come home from school, choked down a mere spoonful of dinner, and rushed to her room to cry. Umi had felt like her heart would break. It wasn't fair that her daughter- barely sixteen- should know this kind of heartbreak. If it hadn't been for Amano, Umi didn't want to even _think _about the level of despair that Hitomi might have sunk to. 

Then, one year later- just as Hitomi was becoming brave enough to face the real world- it came. Umi had awakened in panic as she felt the young king of Fanel call for her daughter, pulling her back to Gaea. Hitomi- confused, frightened, and unwilling to leave her family so soon- rejected the summons. However, she relapsed into a state of depression, weeping for Van, wondering if she should have accepted his call. 

That day, Umi could have cheerfully wrung his neck. 

And then, a year after that, the summons had come again. 

Flashback 

_Umi bolted out of bed, terrified by terrible dreams of Hitomi rising into the sky_..._away from Earth, away from Tokyo, away from Umi. But it wasn't a dream, was it? _

_The summons, strong and insistent, tugged on her senses. In the next room, Umi could feel Hitomi begin to awaken. A mental image formed in her mind. The king of Fanel- shirtless, his wings unfurled- stood majestically in a pillar of light. His hands were outstretched as he reached for Hitomi. Hitomi was awakening, answering the summons, taking Van's hand... and feathers- white as snow- began to obscure the scene... _

_A beautiful scene....but terrible in its meaning. Terrible...terrible..terrible.... _

_"You can't have her!!!" Umi's voice rose in an unnatural shriek. "You stole her from me for four months...four!!! Leave my daughter alone king of Fanel...leave her ALONE!!!" _

_And suddenly the strange pull was receding...._

_Hitomi was falling asleep, deeper into oblivion, deeper into safety..._

_The terrible, beautiful dream was fading...._

_All was silent._  


End Flashback

Umi never understood exactly how she had done it, but somehow she had 'blocked' Van's call. She had been afraid that Hitomi would ask about it the next morning but Hitomi had come down to breakfast as always, acting as if nothing had occurred during the night-- although she had mentioned some rather strange dreams. And that's how it had happened, time and time again, always at the exact same time of year. 

Now that Umi thought about it, that time of year was approaching again. She stroked the surface of the Emperor's card.

"So Van..." she murmured, "Are you going to ask for my daughter this year? Or are you going to give up? Will you take her from me again? Will you take her forever?"

And suddenly she was falling....

Falling...deep into a dream....

She saw a figure dressed in brown crouched on the now-familiar rooftop of the Fanelian castle. It was a girl, with wavy, crimson locks that cascaded down her shoulders and a long, wiry build that spoke of strength and grace. As the dream-image sharpened, Umi noted the finer details. She saw the long tail that poked out from under the hem of the girl's dress, the blue eyes, the fine layer of fur that covered the girl's arms, legs, and face. Then she saw it. Tangled in the short, stubby fingers of one hand was something that glinted in the moonlight- the pendant.

Umi's eyes fluttered open. She was bent over the cards, as if she had fallen asleep sitting up. She straightened, a fierce smile of delight curving her lips. The cat-girl....what was her name? Merle. Merle had the pendant....and Van could never call her daughter again. 

* * * * * * 

Hitomi knocked softly on her mother's bedroom door. No answer. Hitomi tucked her textbooks under her arm, leaning against the doorframe. Her hand played with the tiny, angel charm that hung from the gold chain around her neck. 

" I'm going to Yukari's now," she called through the door. She paused. "Mom? Are you OK? Look, if you would like me to stay home that would be fine. I'll just call up Yukari and tell her I don't feel very good tonight, that's all. Don't worry about Watanabe's exam. It's bound to be easy. You know how Watanabe Sensei is..." Hitomi pushed open the door. "Really, if you want me to stay home I'll unders-- oh..."

Hitomi blinked in surprise as she took in the scene before her. Her mother was sitting on the bed with her tarot cards spread about her, an expression of peace- almost joy- on her face. Mrs. Kanzaki smiled at the confused young woman in the doorway. 

"Go on to Yukari's dear. I'll be fine."

"Oh....Okay..." Hitomi said uncertainly. She came into the room, pecking her mother on the cheek. "Well...I'll see ya later Mom. I'll be home by eleven, I promise."

Hitomi began to leave. At the doorway, she paused, turning back with a confused, wary expression. "You're sure you're OK?"

"I'm fine." Umi listened as her daughter's footsteps receded down the hallway. A bemused smile crossed her face. "Just fine...." 

~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's Notes: Whoa. Writing this chapter was an odd experience. I try to 'be' my character when I'm writing and being Hitomi's mother was just...intense... That's the only way I can put it. She was going along in her happy, normal life and then all of the sudden Hitomi drops a bombshell, and her entire world goes haywire. Sorry if the flow of the story goes a little weirdo in this chapter, but the story was coming in distorted 'waves' and I had a difficult time sorting it out. *shakes head* Augh....that was really strange....you have no idea... 

Sorry, I did a lot of crazy things with Hitomi's mom. I didn't know her name so I made one up. I gave her the ability to see things in her 'dreams'-- for some reason, I strongly believe that all of the Kanzaki women have some type of power. *shrug* She also might seem a bit OOC. I know that she seems like a nice, elderly lady in the series, but I think that this is what almost _any _mother would feel after four months of knowing your daughter was in mortal danger and not being able to help. That and not knowing if you'll ever see them again.

I also don't know squat about tarot cards- and have no wish to- so if I do something weird with them please don't hurt me. 

Also.... I am now convinced that this story is too mushy. My best friend and editor, Rei- the QUEEN of mush- just informed me that she doesn't think that this story is too mushy. If she had said that I needed just a tad more romance, I would have known that the story was OK. But she gave me approval. That's scary. And if she had said that it was too mushy...? I simply would have set a virus on this file. ^^

*wince* And once again.... *gets down on knees* Please review! Please! I'm begging you! Quatre's begging you! And you can't refuse a cutie like that can you? *kitty eyes*  



	3. Dreams

DISCLAIMER: Guess what? I _still _don't own Escaflowne!

Forget 

by Snow Raven

Chapter 3

~ *~*~*~*~*~ 

Golden sunshine poured through the open window, puddling in pools of liquid gold across the wooden floor. The castle stirred to life, the air alive with shouts and laughter, hooves, and the rumble of passing carts. A breeze wafted through the open window, carrying with it the scent of bread and freshly cut hay. 

Van jerked the curtains closed, shutting out the beautiful sunshine, the noise, and the fresh morning air-anything that reminded him of the outside world. A cool, blessed darkness descended over his bed chamber. Collapsing into a nearby chair, he massaged aching temples and nursed what threatened to break into a full-blown migraine. 

A company of young soldiers from the Accadian embassy- ripe for trouble after guzzling three kegs of fine Fanelian wine- had decided that it would be entertaining to 'explore' the section of the city that had not yet been rebuilt. The ruins were unstable and prone to collapse; all but the reconstruction teams were banned from the area. If the soldiers had gotten their way, Van most likely would have been digging dead Accadian pancakes out of the rubble all day. He didn't even want to think about it. 

They were luckily intercepted en route by a small group of the Fanelian Royal Guard, who firmly escorted them to a local inn. Unfortunately- disgruntled at not being able to have their 'fun'- the soldiers than turned their attention to the innkeeper's pretty daughters- who just _happened _to be the sisters of one of the Guards. A brawl had broken out. One soldier received wounds that had almost proved fatal, two others attained serious damage, and almost all had been injured in some way or another. 

Van sighed. Normally, one of his advisors could have handled the mess. However, the Accadian's ambassador's oldest _son_ had somehow gotten involved in the fight and had attained two broken ribs and a face that would never look the same again. Understandably, the Accadians had been just a _little _upset. Van had been up all night, gleaning the real story from the tired, excited, and often completely unreliable observers, calming the uproar at the Accadian embassy, and sitting by the bedside of the wounded Accadian soldier, praying with all of his might that he didn't die and cause a national diplomatic crisis. 

All and all, it had been a very tiring morning.

He fumbled with the buttons of his coat, pulling it off and draping it over the back of his chair. The rest of his clothing quickly followed, until he was clad only in a pair of dark blue slacks. Van unfolded his strong, lanky frame across the bed, savoring the sensation of cool, linen sheets against his bare skin. He sighed in pleasure as the tension- the product of dealing with the often unreasonable Accadians- seeped out of his body, the tight, throbbing pain in his head subsiding to a dull ache. 

It was nice to just _rest _like this, with no council meetings, problems, or petty affairs to intrude upon his peace. He had never had much patience for politics, preferring the simple justice of sword and 'Malef to the elaborate back-stabbing of the court. Folken was the son who had been groomed for the life of a ruler. Van had only been the second son- the 'back-up'. But Folken was dead-- killed in his attempt to end the reign of Zaibach- and Van was the heir of his broken kingdom. Van did not _enjoy _his duty as a king and ruler, but he loved his country and he loved his people, and would do his best by them. 

He yawned. Sleep was tugging on his eyelids and his thought began to wander. It was almost noon, he had nearly eight hours before he would be required to attend council meetings. Enough for a good nap... With only token protest, Van gave into exhaustion and fell into a deep, troubled slumber. And he dreamed. 

_Where was he? _

_He blinked drowsily, gradually becoming aware of his surroundings. Sunlight filtered through the tall, meadow grasses above him, forming jagged shadows across his body. The ground was warm and damp beneath him, the scent of flowers and moist earth hanging heavily in the air. Only the drowsy, contented hum of bees broke the peaceful silence that blanketed the world, a sound that soothed his initial alarm into complacency. _

  
_Someone stirred against him. A woman lay on the ground next to him, her body pressed against his._ _Her head was cradled in the hollow of his shoulder, honey-colored hair falling in loose strands around her face and her lips curved into a peaceful smile. One hand was curled against his heart, the slender fingers of the other tangled in his dark hair. She wore only a cotton shift. Blue-black shadows outlined the soft contours of her body, the graceful curve of her breasts, her slender waist, her long, lanky legs. _

_Hitomi. _

_He was painfully aware of every place that her body touched his, could feel her breathing against him. He closed his eyes in sweet agony, trying to burn this image into his mind. This couldn't be real. It was too beautiful, too perfect. Slowly, cautiously, he closed his right hand over the slender one resting against his chest. Through her palm, he could feel his own heart beating. _

_Beat. _

_Beat. _

_She stirred more strongly this time. Her eyes fluttered open, a startling emerald against the pale cream and rose of her skin. Her face tipped towards him. _

_"Van," she said, softly. "Van."_

_"Hitomi..." he breathed. "Is it...can it...be true..?"_

_"Van," her voice was a sad, quiet murmur. She raised herself until she was sitting above him, her face sad and the sun highlighting every strand of fine, gold hair. Her eyes glistened as she brushed her slender fingers across his cheek. "Oh Van...."_

_A tear slid off her chin falling, glistening gold in the midday sun. He watched it fall with excruciating slowness. The sun burned in each tear as they splattered against his chest, exploding into a blinding flash of gold.... _

_The light.... _

_She was rising away from him.... Her hands were at her throat and she was silently crying...crying..._

_Not again....not again...._

_He could feel the strange shift of bones and muscles as his wings burst from his back. A storm of snow white feathers drifted gently around him. He tensed, readying himself for flight...._

_"No Van! No!" _

_There was a young girl clinging to his arm, a girl with pert, feline features and a wide smile. Merle, the Merle he had known during his childhood years. As she looked up at him her face blurred and her body changed, until the woman was the one who clutched him ,her azure eyes wild and her crimson hair cascading in a waterfall of curls over her shoulders. Silent tears trailed down her face as she pressed his hand to her heart, arresting his attempt to push her away. _

_No Van....stay... _

He jerked awake. Another dream. He inhaled a long, shuddering breath, replaying the scenes in his mind. It was always the same. Whenever he attempted to go after her he was always stopped. Sometimes it was duty, or death, or someone he loved. It didn't matter. The end result was always the same. He would live a few precious moments of an impossibly perfect dream with Hitomi, and then have her torn from his arms all over again. 

How many times did he have to relive that nightmare? How many times did he have to see the woman he loved rise away from him, stolen by that cursed pillar of light? How many times before he forgot? Unconsciously, his hand reached for the pendant.Bare skin. 

What? He bolted into a sitting position. For the first time he noticed that he had not felt the familiar weight of the pendant around his neck throughout the entire day_. _Had the clasp broken? He swept the covers off the bed, shaking them violently over the floor. There was no satisfying clink of metal. No glint of sun off gold. The linen sheets tumbled back onto the bed in an ungainly heap. Van was already on his knees, scrambling around the room in a vain search for the pendant. It didn't take long. Despite the fact that he was Fanel's king, his rooms were plain and sparely furnished, not much better than any common citizen's. Only the royal seal on the door indicated that these were the royal bedchambers at all. 

Van inhaled a slow breath, willing himself to calm down and think rationally. When was the last time he had seen the pendant? He sifted through his memories. Ah... He had taken if off and fallen asleep by the window. Could it have....? He pulled back the muslin curtains, staring down at the bushes below him, a tangle of branches and vines. If it _had _fallen out of the window, he would not be able to find itin that mess. There had to be another way. 

His eyes fluttered close as he raised a wall between himself and his rising panic. An enforced calm- the same that he used in battle- fell over him. His thoughts slowed and stilled as he envisioned the pendant, the teardrop-shaped amethyst dangling from a thin, gold chain. He focused his thoughts on that shining stone, willing it to show him its location. He waited. 

But the pendant never moved. 

_* * * * *_

The pendant was glowing, burning against her palm. Merle could feel the insistent summons as Van called for this last remnant of Atlantis, desperately trying to preserve this last connection with the woman he loved. Her body trembled as she focused every ounce of her will on the violet stone, forcing it to resist answering its owner's call. In her mind's eye she could see Van wandering, lost, in a void of darkness, calling....calling....

"No Van," she whispered, "Don't. Stop it... Stop it...."

* * * * *

It wasn't working. 

Van's eyes flew open. Air came in deep, ragged gasps as his body shuddered with the effort of such a prolonged search. Where was it? It was as if the pendant did not even exist. He had never failed in dousing- not since those first, early attempts- why had it failed him now? 

Van stared at his empty hands. He had nothing now. That pendant had been the last tendril of connection to Hitomi. How he could he bear the not knowing, not knowing if she was married, had children, or was even alive. Even though he was not a part of her life anymore, he had taken some small measure of comfort of being able to _see _how she fared. What would he do now? He knew all too well how fast memories became distorted or faded into oblivion, how fast one forgot little things like the sound of a voice, a face, an expression. It was too easy, too easy to forget. 

He buried his face in his hands, weeping bitterly. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: *laughs* I'm going to be bad and let you wonder if this is a V/H or a V/M romance. Sorry, but I have never tried writing a story where the ending was not completely obvious and I want to see if I can do it. ^^ Tell me if you're surprised!

*blink* This chapter's short...only three pages. Funny. 

I apologize, the mood is completely off in this chapter. It's supposed to begin on a half-humorous note and work down into a state of frantic worry, but for some reason I just kept on being humorous. ^^ My best friend and editor Rei-chan read the first draft, blinked, and politely inquired to how much sugar I had consumed in the last few days. I swear I haven't had any- well, not much- I'm just unusually happy. *grin* I think I've finally got the mood down right, but I can't be sure. 

Ugh...stupid... I am NOT very pleased with this chapter, so don't be surprised if it gets rewritten every now and then.

This chapter is dedicated to my sister- who has no idea who all these crazy people are or even what Escaflowne is- but somehow tolerates and humors my frantic pleas to edit my fanfic. Sis, you drive me crazy, up a wall, and three varieties of nuts (peanut, walnut, and pecan), but I love ya anyway. Thanks for everything! *glomp* 

Ahem...and for the benefit of my dear friend and one o' the cutest, most kind-hearted, sweet-natured girls in the entire universe- Sasami-chan- I must tell you this: Quatre is hers. Completely. Uncontested. I merely borrow him for my author's notes 'cause he's so cute- seriously, don't you just want to tie a bow around him and take him home? Anyway, I'm in love with Sorata-kun! (^^ I bet you couldn't tell I'm hyper, huh? I just finished a huge cup of ice cream and am suffering from chocolate overload. Just be thankful I didn't order lemonade to go with it. ^^ OK, I'll shut up now.)

Thank you for all the positive reviews but seriously, DO tell me what I do wrong and where I can improve. I want to constantly improve my writing style, and this is one of the best places to do so. ^^ 

Enjoy!   



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